The Anatomy of a Backpacker
Monday, January 31st, 2005The Anatomy of a Backpacker.
The common spotted backpacker (homo-backpackerous) can be found most often in the countries of New Zealand and Australia. They are migatory creatures and spend the winter months (and sometimes the entire year) in the Southern hemisphere escaping the harsh winters of their native North European countries.
Easily spotted by their distinctive humps these young 20-something mammals travel often in groups (known as a “bus”) but also alone. Their humps grow as the season continues. At first both the male and the female of the species have a back hump, something about the size of a pack and one small daysack sized hump they carry in their skinny white arms. As their trip continues the back hump stays about the same size but the small hump moves to the front of their bodies to make room for more smaller tote bag size humps they carry in their now not-so-white but still just as skinny arms. Nalgene bottles grow from these humps in odd places.
Once per day, as the sun sets, all the backpackers in a particular area will descend upon a few number of nests they will use for the night. These nests are known as hostels and, in places, demand outstrips supply and a frenzy ensues as they scramble for shelter for night. Often the backpacker will attempt to plan their itinerary and book ahead but the backpacker has little consideration for confirmed reservations when there is fun to had. Credit cards are now the preferred form of barter to confirm a spot in the nest for the evening. Although designed as temporary nesting areas, some backpackers will use a hostel in a more permanent fashion thereby causing stress to other more transient backpackers. For these backpackers who stay semi-permantly their days are spent on useless hunting gathering tasks as they hunt for menial jobs and gather minimum wage when they find one. This is an illusion that perhaps one day the forces of evolution will fix, for their wage is barely enough to survive so when they finally do leave this nest their stores for the next leg of the journey are no more full than when they arrived.
The nesting place known as The Hostel is an interesting structure. Backpackers are by nature solitary creatures so when forced act as a community strange rituals are performed. Food that has previously been gathered must be clearly marked as not to stolen by others of the species. Whereas in nature a scent usually does the trick, the backpacker must resort to use of the sharpie. Some things that look free to unsuspecting backpacker may in fact belong to someone and their use may cause eviction from the nest. Only things clearly marked with the pictogram “F”, “R”, “E”, “E” are truly for the use of the community (unless of course an enterprising backpacker crosses out the image and marks it with their own). These rules are complicated and the young backpacker must find them out by trial and error. It is worth noting that for many of this strange species this is the first time they have left the family nest and mother is no longer around to help out her poor cubs. No where is this more evident than in the part of the nest known as the kitchen. Many signs left by the elders of the hostel warn it’s temporary residents that their “mother doesn’t live here” so they should “wash up and put away your own dishes”.
Sleeping arrangements are complex in the nesting hostel. There is a definite hierarchy. Those at the bottom of the tree share areas known as dorms. Often there are eight or more backpackers of mixed gender sharing the same space. Again although this is communal living there is very little community and the solitary nature of the creature becomes apparent. Teritory is key. Very little sleeping goes on in the dorm area as multiple backpackers all need to relieve themselves at various points in the night and some retire late and some rise early. Next up on the hierarchy are the areas known as “twin rooms”. These are for backpackers traveling in pairs. This arrangement provides both companionship and a chance for better sleeping quarters. Sometimes individual backpackers will form uneasy alliances to afford themselves these rights but, again, being solitary and selfish creatures, they rarely last more than a few days. The final and newly created category of sleeping arrangement is known to the pack as “doubles”. The interesting fact about doubles is that on first glance they appear to be inhabited by backpackers but on closer inspection are almost always taken up by Rollaboards (homo-rollaboardous) a sub-species of the common spotted backpacker. These are older, wiser and more affluent ex-backpackers whose humps are pulled behind them on wheels. They take a free ride on the infrastructure they helped create when they were backpackers thereby creating less dorm space and therefore less mess in the nest. Rollaboards in doubles are always mating pairs.
The diet of the common spotted backpacker is almost exclusively Raman noodles and beer. At this stage in the physical development of the young backpacker the natural high gained from the alcohol found in beer is more important than the nutrients found in fresh food. It takes more effort for the backpacker to forage for fresh food where Raman noodles can be found under any bush or Star Mart. Obvious visual signs of malnourishment are disguised by a browning of the skin (known as a tan) and the usual effects of too much of the naturally occurring alcohol imbibed the previous night. It is a wonder evolution has not naturally de-selected this species.
Dawn rises over the nest and it is time for these young backpackers to shrug their humps and migrate to their next destination to repeat this complex ritual over again.
Don’t forget to check out our first gallery and our second gallery and all our extreme sports mad stuff.
We did get a lovely vista from it, though, but don’t think we’ll be taking up mountain biking back in good old Washington.
Oh again – Forgot to mention we went to a place called Sheep World. I thought the Americans had the monopoly on tourist attractions suffixed with “world” or “universe” but aparently not. In Sheep World one can find, well, sheep really. Here’s one right now: