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Dave Says:

There now follows a bunch of random mind wanderings concerning but perhaps not limited to my experiences in the country of Thailand. Although not by any means an authority on the country or its people, I shall attempt to write in a style that supposes I know more than I do. Without further ado:
The King: Thailand is mad for it’s king. He is held in such high regard that the Lonely Planet Guide tells a story of a tourist who once stepped on a bank note, therefore on the king himself, and was promptly arrested. Such a story remains in the realm of incredulity until one observes the passion these people have for their monarch. Today is Monday. Itself not an amazing day but to the Thais it’s a day to wear a yellow shirt. Why yellow? Because yellow is the color of the king’s birthday. Is today the king’s birthday? Nope – but he was born on a Monday so millions of people wear yellow to celebrate this EVERY Monday. Ironically, his wife, the queen, was born on a Friday but she must not as well liked because less people wear blue shirts on her day. The king is everywhere, or rather his image is everywhere. There are about five stock “official” images of the king and I have named them thus:

1) Benevolent King – The king stands looking quite pope like, one hand raised in part blessing, part wave.

2) Camera King – The king, in “business casual” attire, stands looking off to the right, pointing in the general direction of something interesting. Around his neck is slung a late model Canon digital camera. I wonder if Canon paid for the endorsement.

3) Regal King – The king and queen stand in their regal attire with a somewhat “dear in headlight” look on their faces. Both are looking quite old in contrast to their other pictures.

4) The Queen’s Favourite – Another side by side image in which the queen looks about thirty years younger than she really is but the king is his proper age. The king’s eyes are a little squiffy in this one and it has caused me to look at all images of him to check if they really are or if this was some kind of printing error.

5) Warrior King – A younger portrait in which the king sits in his formal military attire, sword by his side. Quite honestly, it doesn’t look very war like, rather he looks like a cheap east Asian copy of mid 19th century European cavalry officer.

However, one must admire a people’s devotion to their monarch. Thailand has had 16 military coups in the last 100 years including the one that happened last fall so the king represents a constant, the voice of reason and wisdom in a time of turmoil. That’s not a bad thing – unlike his son, the prince, who we learnt today is not very popular. Much like in the UK I suspect these people are hoping the king hangs in there so his son is too old to reign and the far more popular grandchild can, as it were, take the reigns.
Tourists: It’s a lovely country spoiled by the tourists. They’re everywhere. The last two weeks I’ve seen more more white faces than Asians. On our little beach getaway they were just plain ugly. Old, leathery brown woman wearing thongs. Ass (arse) checks hanging out everywhere. Beer guts – guts so large that the speedos hung to nothing but a wing and a prayer. Oh – speedos – they’re alive and well and should be banned. The most beautiful beaches in the world ruined by the most ugliest people. I guess that’s Ying and Yang. The standard of tourist has not been that high either. In the more adventurous countries, like and forwarded minded people gathered but here the tourist is interested only in getting a lot for not a lot. Everyone speaks English and the beer is cheap – this means a lot of people who “like to travel” but only if its a warmer version of their own country.

Food: The best food comes from street vendors and high end restaurants. Strangely though, we’ve found none of the latter so have been eating mainly from the former. However, due to the mass tourist system most restaurants serve the same same thing: pad thai and it’s variants, pizza and fruit shake – all of it sweeter than one would like. Nope, if you want Thai food, eat like a Thai. An evening meal from the street costs about $3 for two whereas it’s going to be up to three times more expensive if you eat with the other westerners.
The Bus: There are three main types of bus here. The VIP, the Air Con and the Ordinary. The VIP is just for tourists with their ultra-modern, double decked, reclining seat luxury running from one tourist spot to another. For example, Koh Chang ferry dock to Khao San Road in Bangkok; both places devoid of Thais (bus driver excepted). “Air-con” class is how the ordinary Thais travel long distances. Older but air-con’d, vinyl reclining, pee in a can type buses. Cheap, relatively fast and very colorful. Lastly the ordinary buses, no air except through the window (therefore no air) and all of humanity aboard. We had no need to take an ordinary bus but I’m sure it would have been fun for about 30 minutes.
Music: You can’t talk about buses without talking about music. Karaoke – loud and proud. So loud I can hear it through my iPod; it never stops - on one occasion, 10 hours trapped on bus with bad Thai karaoke. The videos would suggest all the songs are the same, moon struck young lovers denied their ultimate feelings for each other. Often set in a work like environment such as an office, one workmate has the hots for another but the big bad boss man is mean to one of them which makes the other mad and sad until the work day is over. Then it’s time to jump on your mobile phone, call your one true love and visit the local market together. No kissing or holding hand though. For those of us whose lyrical Thai is not up to par, the karaoke video phonetically subtitles the words so Sarah and I needn’t feel left out from the ten hour “Kickin Back With Kao’s Karaoke” marathon.
And so…. In summary: Thailand is a lovely place with lovely people if the only the people like us would leave it alone.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 27th, 2007 at 2:25 am and is filed under Global Travels, Thailand. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.