How To Not Offend The Locals
Dave Says:
An important part of any backpackers journey to different cultures is the ubiquitous homestay. This is often the only ‘real’ contact to be had with the non-westernized and often purely indigenous population of those far flung places. However, the cultural homestay is not always the meeting of the two worlds the brochure promised. Firstly the expectations of the tourist are hard to meet. They want the authentic experience but the disappointment with the presence of a constantly blaring TV and the disgust of an overflowing outhouse offers reality, just not the reality they expected or paid for. It must be hard on the hosts too. Here come more backpackers want to experience living as they do but seemly unable to surrender either their iPods or their hand sanitizer.
Communication ranges from tricky to down right boring despite, but probably because of, the handbook of useful phrases provided by the tour company. Interesting gems such as: “My name is… “, “I live in…” and the utterly useless unless you are conversing with a small child: “How old are you?” That last question serving only to highlight the fact these people look a lot older than they are and that there may be some basis to Olay Facial Cream’s ability to visible reduce lines on western faces. I say boring because every tourist has the phrase book and the host family have answered the questions a million times before. Once that initial salvo of questions is over, everyone is left twiddling thumbs staring at the floor. Everyone, that is, apart from the family who have a hundred chores left to do before the sun sets, not the least being to prepare the tourists a meal that both enters and exits their bodies with pleasure and not fear.
Of all the information a tour company may supply their customers with, the most interesting is cultural do’s and don’t list. These are the actions that must be performed to please the family and those that must be avoided lest a large fire is built in the tourist’s honor upon which they will be gently roasted and fed to the entire village.
So, having completed yet another homestay without being served medium rare to the natives, I thought it would be of great service to the reader to document a few cultural rules for suitable for both rural Mongolian and rural North American interaction, should they find themselves homestaying in either locale:
|
Mongolia |
USA |
| You will inevitably encounter residents of the countryside. Things move slowly here and the standards of living you are used to are not the same. Part of Mongolia’s charm is its ancient traditions. If you can learn to respect them you will get a more welcome reception. You may also become part of helping to preserve these traditions for future visitors. | You will inevitably encounter residents of the countryside. Things move slowly here and they carry guns. Part of the USA’s charm is its constitution, specifically the amendment concerning the right to bear arms. Learn to respect it and you won’t get shot or called a Commie Bastard. No help is needed in preserving this tradition because fear and Washington’s lobbyists are doing a fine job by themselves. |
| Don’t let a post or a fence come between you if are walking with a Mongolian | Don’t let a post or a fence come between you if are walking with an American. It could be the fence that divides the US from Mexico. Once you’re in Mexico the Americans probably won’t let you back in. |
| Don’t whistle inside a ger or house belonging to a Mongolian. | Don’t whistle inside a ger or house belonging to an American, unless you’re in the can. |
| Don’t turn your back to the alter (northern area) when sitting in the ger. | Don’t turn your back to the alter (48″ plasma TV) when sitting in the den. |
| Don’t have long conversations in your own language (English, French, German) in front of your hosts who don’t understand it. | Don’t have long conversations in your own language (Pro-choice, gay marriage, constitutional reform) in front of your hosts who don’t understand it. |
| Don’t point a knife in the direction of anyone. | Don’t point a knife in the direction of anyone unless everyone is trashed on Bud Light and local moonshine and the desire to throw knives at the balloon placed above your cousin’s head becomes overwhelming. |
| Don’t take food from your plate with your left hand - it is considered the hand you use for bathroom duties (see whistling tip above) | Don’t take the rack of ribs or Red Lobster all-you-can-eat crab legs from your plate without first checking your bib is securely fastened. |
| Don’t forget to leave a small gift, other than money, for your hosts. | Don’t forget to leave a small gift, other than… Never mind, just leave the money. |
| When approaching a ger it is wise to shout “Nohoi Khoi” (tie up your dog!) This will give the family a chance to reign in the dogs that protect their livestock. | When approaching a house, it is wise to shout “Hello, it’s me!” from outside their property line. If you are mistaken for a trespasser the law allows the family to shoot you without recrimination. |
| Many travelers are shocked to see how families treat their dogs. Dogs protect livestock and must not become too domesticated. Throwing sticks and rocks at them maintains respect between the dog and their master. | Many travelers are shocked to see how families treat their dogs. They are often asked to sit at the table during dinner and are bought their own blankets. Families often pick up their dog’s pooh for them. |
| The traditional Mongolian ger is round, squat and can withstand wind, rain and snow. Most gers have five walls each 1.5 meters high making a living space of 16-18 sq m for an average of six family members. | The traditional American house is large, expansive and costs a small fortune to heat in the winter and cool in the summer. Most have five bedrooms and as many bathrooms for an average of four family members (not including two dogs and three cars) |
| At the center of the ger is the hearth which has special meaning to the Mongolians. Apart from its utilitarian purpose, it also symbolizes ties between ancestors and family | At the center of the house is the TV which has special meaning to the Americans. Apart from symbolizing status it reminds them of those special family gatherings when they sat around it all afternoon without talking to each other. |
Be you visiting Mongolia or the USA, you should now have enough information to avoid those tricky social faux-pas. Ritual burning and eating of rude tourists have all but stopped in modern Mongolia however, the rural yankees are still known to let off a round or two at unsuspecting but well meaning backpackers. If in doubt, just keep repeating your name, hometown and, most importantly, age. Sooner or later they will stop shooting and welcome you with open arms - they may even show you their front yard collection of cars on bricks (but please remember to walk around them in a clockwise direction).
July 18th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
I enjoyed reading this, but I think I was a little distracted by my wondering….. where is Sarah? Your writing efforts have been productive, informative, entertaining….. but three entries from you, and not a word from Sarah. What was she doing all that time? Come to think of it, I don’t think her name was mentioned in any of these most recent entries. Now I’m worried about my daughter. She didn’t get held back in Russia and you’re just not telling me, did she???
July 18th, 2008 at 9:49 pm
We here in Oklahoma, both resent and resemble your remarks about rural america. Many of us can speak intelligently on the issues you mentioned, plus a few others that are close to our hearts, like rural health care, Indian Soverignty, water rights and others. Unfortunatly, many cannot, and your portrayal is not always inacurate. Otherwise, I totally enjoyed the satire but also can’t help but wonder, where the hell did you leave my Sarah?????